Dreaming

I can't believe that it has been almost a month since I have been releasing my thoughts.  Where does the time go?  Doctors appointments, puzzles, guests, life!  I was reading an article this a.m. about how to NOT write and it was filled with all kinds of thoughts & behaviors that I have exercised.  Just do it.  Anne Lamott says, "sit down and write a crappy first draft."  That speaks to me about just sit down and start anywhere.  I don't even have to have an idea.  It will come just as this writing is happening.  I have no preconceived idea of what to say many times.  It is a risk but the risk pays off if I am willing to be vulnerable.  There was another thought that I read this morning about how many writers create out of their sadness or struggle in life.  I have to agree with that.  My first book, an autobiography, Seasons of my Heart, Life is a Struggle but the payoff is worth it,  began with the death of my mom when I was 14.  My second book, Taking Off My God Hat is about my struggle with food.  My editor once challenged me to write a fictional piece.  I began it but it didn't make sense to me. I couldn't pursue it. Imagination is a weak link.  I remember years ago when my husband and I were doing an exercise for a class asking us to put down our dreams.  I felt so threatened.  I asked him to go first to give me ideas.  I thought of dreams as goals.  I had a hard time separating them.  If one was to dream that meant that I had to work at making it come true.  The gift was being able to come up with 22 dreams and sharing them with each other.  Some of them have been fulfilled much to my surprise.  One particular dream was going on a weeks retreat in a foreign country. I thought that would be the coolest experience ever.
Several years ago when Don and I were planning a trip to Ireland a friend mentioned a place she had visited where she retreated.  I later asked Don if he would be willing to spend a week in Glendolough, Ireland on retreat.  At first he wasn't so sure of it but gave in knowing it was on my dream list. That is another reason why it is good to share your dream list with someone.
The priest, apartment, times in prayer and then being sent out to the mountain to commune with nature turned out to be the highlight of our time in Ireland. It has made me a believer in writing down my dreams and sharing them.  This is a reminder for me to take out my list and read it to Don.  What about you?  Time to make a dream list and share it with someone?

Free and Light Hearted

What a fabulous feeling to de-clutter!  It seems so easy to continue to stockpile but I had a great opportunity to share stuff with others.  We are having our first floor painted and decided it was time to do the closets too.  Sooo, I began the process of thinning out pretending that we were moving into an apartment.  As I began putting items away, I asked myself,  "do we really need this?"  We surrendered 1 pr. high powered binoculars, 2 sets of steak knives (we still have another), and a carving set.  The great news is that one of our children  wanted them.  Then to Goodwill Don loaded his trunk with 1 Bean Crock pot,( the other one went to one of our children) 1 large soup kettle, 2 large frying pans, 5 glass platters, 2 cookie sheets, 1 Battery charger, 4 electrical cords, 1 ice crusher, 2 large glass bowls, 1 large plastic bowl, and two of Don's light weight jackets.  Then today Don took a bag with knick knacks sitting on shelves, an extra set of cutting boards, 2 area rugs, a flannel shirt of Don's, and several picture frames.  I called my sister last week and invited her to our make believe rummage sale.  We had stuff all over the dining room table as Marie was painting in the Living Room.  Before I began putting things back in the medicine closet I called the pharmacist and asked him about the dates on items.  6mos. after the suggested use by date, he said the medicine is still okay but begins to lose it's potency, so I thought to myself, why keep it?  YEAH!  During this time I had the joy of going to the Container Store to get a few items to better view the boxes.  Organization!  I love it.   The frosting on the cake was the generosity of Don as he had three bags for books to be given to family and friends.  His shelves look so breathable.   We now have a new look on the first floor, (the family room will be painted in April or May when the bricks are warmer) and less STUFF.  Thank you God for Spring cleaning.  Does anyone else still do that?  mjk 

Blog Compulsion

I just came downstairs to do some art work and got side tracked posting our latest ushering which we are slowly doing again.  We saw a well-done play at our local community college, called
A Night in Provence.  Two couples (with a guest couple) double booked a villa in France and the hanky-panky that went on.  Light entertainment, well casted.  And here I am digressing also.
As I was cleaning up my sticky notes here by the computer I came across some notes re: compulsion.

I have wrestled with sugar addiction for years.  A while ago in prayer I played with that word:
Com / pul / sion.  Come within  
         pul               Pulse, take a reading
         sion             shun the destruction, attachment, ropeing me, pulling me away.
Compulsion: wanting attention, wanting love.
How can compulsion help to love me?

I can befriend my compulsion by using the temptation at the moment to ask self:
                     WHAT DO I REALLY NEED?    prayer, sleep, water, tea, phone call, writing.

Compulsion is an external behavior from an interior call.
A call wanting attention, needing an internal love.
Compulsions are substitues for God's love.  The other day I read that the real gift of a compulsion when I resist, is the growing closer in my relationship with God.
Anyone out there have any thoughts on this?  mjk

Blog Color choices

I am going nuts picking out new colors for our first floor rooms, actually just for the living room and dining room first. After meeting with the painter helping me make some selections I then went to the paint store to get some more ideas and samples so I could put them on the walls.  M. came back with 4 10x12 painted samples.  I thought I was fine with the saybrook sage but after the painter painted a 10x12 poster board, I placed it in the living room this past day and it looks too dark.  I love the contrast with the yellow, no, that's not true.  The yellow looks murky, and the green is too dark.  I wonder if other people go through this painstaking task.  I came down here and was able to get the color in a 4x6 inch size on the computer but now I think the lighting down here is throwing me off.  Issue being I don't like having to go back to the painter asking her to paint up a couple more samples.  I know she wants me satisfied but I don't like this wishy-washyness, this indecision.  That's what it is all about.  Indecision.  Usually I make up my mind quickly about a situation but this has been labor intensive.  Help!  Tonight I chose three more greens and called her and now I am second guessing myself, thinking they are too green-green.  Woe is me!  It's late.  I think I ought to just go to bed.
"The sun will come out tomorrow," sings Annie. mjk 

Blog Puzzle Fun Together.

I can't believe that it is a week since I have sat down here.  I had a thought yesterday of what I wanted to blog about but I can't think of it right now.  Oh well.  I will let the spirit lead.

You all know how much I love to work puzzles.  On January 19 I wrote about getting one at Morton Arboretum, selecting one that is a concentrated picture of spring flowers.  Since we both love puzzles I thought it would be a great winter get together for B & I.  Well, we began weeks ago, not working on it every night but many nights.  I can't believe we are still working on this 1000 piece puzzle.   Thinking we would finish it last night we both commented, that it is the hardest puzzle that we have ever done and we have assembled a lot of them together.  It is a concentrated picture of spring blooming flowers, which we both love, with just a few stems.  What makes it challenging is that the colors are redundant through out the puzzle.  I said to B. "Did you ever realize that there are so flowers? Can you name them all?"  She laughed but didn't answer me.   What fun but it is getting a little tedious.   I can't believe that I am saying this.    As we near the end, (hopefully tonight) it reminds me of a collage of a flower catalogue without print.  And so goes winter life of a puzzle lover and her lovely neighbor. mjk

Blog I love Libraries

I was thinking of my history with libraries the other night when I couldn't sleep.  How far back does it go?  Childhood.  I remember walking to the library by myself.  What a reality moment.  I just mapquested how far I had walked each week thinking it was at least 15-20 minutes.  The library is only a half mile away from my old house and they figure 11 minutes walking.   Oh those memories!  Maybe it did take me 20 minutes; 8 year old legs, pulling barberry leaves off the bushes as I sauntered along to form little maroon roses.  And of course the other wonder is did I really as an 8 year old go without an adult? I am sure I did for "those days" 1/2 mile was nothing.   I remember carrying large picture books and then later as I got older the Bobbsey Twins series. My own first library card was a treasure.  I felt so adult when I handed it over to the lady as my head barely met the top of the counter.  And so my love affair with books and the library began early.

For a number of years I had been delivering books to the homebound as a volunteer every two weeks until my hip started really acting up 5 months ago.  Another gentlemen began to share the visits giving us each once a month joy.  Two months ago I had to let go of it all together and missed being with the cheerful people at our LaGrangePark Library.  When I would pop in to pick up my books, folks would ask how I was doing and their caring reminded me of what a great enviroment I was missing.  After talking with several ladies who organize the volunteers I decided on an in-house job where I wouldn't have to be hauling heavy bags of books and getting in and out of my car which was quite painful.

Once a week for 1 and 1/2 hours  I am now replacing broken cd containers, a behind the scenes job that  I never gave any thought to when taking out a cd.  I am amazed at the number of cases that need replacing.  For the past two weeks I have cleaned by machine some cd's that were scratched, and relabeled about 40 cd cases.  I do love learning but can't say that I jump into experiences readily.  It takes a forced situation for me.  This is a case where my present infirmity is gifting me and I am grateful to be of help for others.  When is the last time you were in your library?  mjk    

Blog Good Morning

I just came downstairs to my computer to read our grandson's blog while he is studying & traveling in Rome for 4 months.  Being an up to date, modern youth, he had fabulous pictures with some captions,  and narration of his weekend visit to Florence as well as other spots.  It is exciting to follow his experience and also to be able to respond.  I love being a part of his adventure.  Don and I were there many years ago and it is reminding me of some of our sights like seeing the famous "David".  Knowing how expanding it is to travel I am glad he took advantage of this opportunity.  That's it for the moment. "Ciao" mjk